EP|1 Why Elopements Are Here to Stay
Small weddings are on the rise, we have seen them explode in popularity due to the constraints of 2020, but did you know that elopements and small weddings had been trending long before this? In fact, I am predicting that small weddings will soon be a common and permanent part of the wedding market, so now is the time to make sure that your wedding biz is prepared.
One thing to know about me is I love reading and researching - a good deep dive into a topic is my idea of a good time. So, I recently dove deep into the history of the elopement wedding and came across an article from April 23rd, 2002 from ABC News entitled “ Stressed Out Americans Embrace Elopement” - 2002! I was actually really surprised to find that, but then reading the article you see that they decided to head to Vegas and tie the knot instead of putting on a big wedding - which of course has been around for a long time.
But, I began to hear about elopement weddings specifically back in 2014 and it was happening in the Australian market first I believe. That was the first time I saw anyone looking to re-frame what an elopement had always been which was “ a couple running off to get married in the spur of the moment by themselves and not telling anyone” either to the courthouse or Vegas or on vacation - but this was completely different - what I first heard about was a Pop Up Wedding and I got so curious about what that was. Then while looking into the pop up wedding concept, I began to see other vendors offering ‘elopement wedding packages’ and these companies were doing something different - they were creating these planned out wedding experiences with great photography, non-cheesy decor and scheduled out dates. And this was the year that I began to have a lot of couples start asking me to do intimate weddings. But, it didn’t make a lot of sense for our planning firm to do small weddings and even if we wanted to do them, our couples would need to spend a lot of money to do what our weddings with larger guests counts were doing because the wedding industry isn't really designed for small weddings. But, I was inspired by what I was seeing happening in Australia and the new creative small wedding formats, and I thought - you know I could create something that doesn’t exist yet and that really works for these types of intimate weddings our couples are asking for. So 2014 was the year we launched my elopement brand; Modern Elopement.
A lot of the more well-established companies that are around today were started around that time 2014/2015 and I think that really was the first real push for what we think of today as elopement weddings into the wedding market and you began to see a lot more wedding vendors offering elopements as an option to their couples
However it was 2018 where I saw the real growth in the elopement wedding market. My company personally tripled in bookings that year out of the blue, we weren’t advertising or marketing our elopements at that point. And I have since spoken with many other elopement companies that were around at that time who also said that 2018 was a turning point and all of a sudden elopement weddings were in demand.
2020 was not the start of the elopement wedding trend, but the catalyst to propel the small wedding market into the mainstream. And now that more couples know eloping is an option and more vendors are offering small wedding options, elopements will continue to grow in popularity. I believe they are the fastest growing section of the wedding market and they have the most growth potential because they are so new.
And even though I have been saying the term ‘elopement’ a lot so far, I actually like the term ‘small wedding market’ so much more because it encompasses all small wedding formats including; pop-up weddings, tiny weddings, micro weddings, mini weddings, minimonies and any other small wedding formats that vendors are dreaming up or doing for their couples. Everything that applies to elopements - also applies to these other small wedding formats.
The main guideline for a small wedding is that it is for 30 guests or less and that it is not a traditional wedding. Now I know that there are publications out there and wedding pros who say that small weddings are 50 or under and they are of course welcome to create whatever wedding guidelines that work for them, but I feel pretty strongly that small weddings are best suited for 30 guests and under. Here is why: When you have a wedding of 50 guests it is most likely that a group that size is going to expect a traditional wedding. And I have done many weddings for 50 guests as a wedding planner that is NO WAY differ from a wedding of 100 or more guests. We have a ceremony, cocktail hour and reception with dinner and dancing. There is beautiful decor, speeches, cake cutting and all of the expectations of the couple and the guests of a larger wedding experience. But when you present to this couple that what they are doing is actually a ‘micro wedding’ they think that somehow they should be paying less for everything and it will take less time and energy to put together - because it is after all “micro” or “ less than” a big wedding. Which as a wedding vendor we know is not the case. So why would we want to set those expectations with our couples knowing that they are going to want to spend less for the same experience? I don’t think we should.
After planning weddings for so long, what I do know is that a group of 30 or less, behaves differently at a wedding. It is an intimate enough group that you don’t need a full night of dancing and a beautiful dinner would be a great follow up to a wedding ceremony. And by changing the format of the wedding experience - meaning that you are not calling it a traditional wedding and including every last element of the wedding day - you can help create a new expectation for your couple and create something that will value your time and work as a vendor.
That is why I think it is so important to delineate elopement weddings and micro weddings from a traditional wedding and not just lead couples to believe that it all means the same thing. There are many couples who don’t want traditional weddings and an elopement is not a traditional wedding - in fact, I define an elopement wedding as a ‘non=traditional wedding with a focus on the ceremony and up to 25 guests”.
Now who are all the couples who want to elope, what are the top reasons they are choosing to elope and why am I so sure that elopement weddings are here to stay? I am going to tell you after this quick break.
One of the things that I love best about elopement or small weddings is that it naturally lends itself to diversity - and I mean diversity in all ways. For the past eight years of doing elopements we have seen them attract couples from all ages, races, cultures, economic means, preferences and many couples who are not having their first weddings. We have done weddings for couples of different races who feel more comfortable having a small wedding or same sex couples who want to do something less traditional, couples who are from very different cultural backgrounds, couples who already have kids, couples who don’t want to spend a fortune on a large wedding and couples who are anywhere from 22 to 52 years old.
Small weddings appeal to a lot of people. And I believe that the wedding industry has overlooked a lot of couples for a long time by not providing diverse enough wedding formats or ways for couples to get married where they didn’t have to spend money they couldn’t afford. Traditional weddings, for almost all cultures, look the same - so when couples get married they are expected to do what is traditional for that culture for their wedding. Here in the West that looks like inviting all of your family and friends, having a ceremony and then a dinner reception with dancing - where there are speeches, formal dances and cake cutting. Elopements, pop up weddings, tiny weddings, minimonies - they throw that formula out the window and let the couple have a lot more freedom about what they want to do on their day and what they want to spend. And that attractive to a wide range of couples for a lot of different reasons.
Now the top 4 reasons that I hear the most are these;
- Finances; the #1 reason is Budget; weddings aren’t ever going to get any less expensive and couples are realizing that in order to have the weddings they want or to save money, they need a smaller guest count.
- Generational - many couples in this new generation don’t feel the same need to have a large wedding as their parents did and instead of spending $30K and up on a wedding are wanting to invest in the down-payment of a house or something else more important to them. They don’t see the value in spending such a large sum for a traditional wedding.
- Destination - the rise of the destination wedding lends itself to a smaller group of guests and more of a wedding “experience” than just about the wedding day itself. Whether this is hiking to an epic vista to say their vows or flying off to a tropical paradise, more and more we are seeing that the destination matters.
- Stress; many couples that came to us wanting to elope were planning a larger wedding and after starting that process realized how stressful and how much work it would be and decided that it would be much less stressful to elope.
And in fact do you remember when earlier I referenced the article I found about eloping from 2002? Well, let me read you the first sentence of that article “ Frazzled by time and money needed to plan a big wedding, Christine and Michael Bradley turned to an increasingly attractive option; they decided to elope.”
These are just some of the reasons that we have heard over the years and now with the financial and health concerns stemming from a pandemic and inflation - the likelihood of couples choosing to do smaller weddings is going to be even greater. Not to mention the fact that small weddings have hit the mainstream - so couples who weren’t even aware eloping was an option, now have that option and as more and more wedding vendors step up to offer solutions for those small weddings - even more couples will then consider a smaller wedding.
I think elopements are here to stay and that is a good thing.
I would love to hear your thoughts, so please click on over to my Instagram @morganmchilds and leave me a comment on this post or direct message me and let me know what you think.
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