EP|5 the top 5 reasons couples elope
Back in 2014 right before I created our elopement brand, there was an uptick in couples inquiring about smaller weddings and I was curious why all of a sudden I seemed to be hearing from so many couples who wanted a wedding with 30 guests or less, so I did what any savvy business owner would do and I asked them! I have been asking our couples for the past eight years why they are eloping and have since then spoken to hundreds of couples about their decision to elope - and surprisingly I hear the same ones over and over again! So today I am going to share with you the top 5 reasons couples choose to elope, so get ready because this is a good one.
Hello hello! I am looking forward to sharing with you today the top 5 reasons I hear again and again from couples on why they are choosing to have a small wedding - and while many things have changed in the past couple of years and many couples have had to elope instead of having the big wedding they wanted - that is not what I am going to be talking about today. I am going to highlight those couples who are choosing to have a smaller wedding whether that is a micro-wedding, an elopement or any other type of small wedding there are common reasons why couples decide to forego the traditional wedding. Knowing why your couples are choosing to elope or have a smaller wedding, is a powerful and necessary tool in your wedding business. If you don’t know why your couples are planning the type of wedding they are, then you can’t speak to the specifics they are looking for or use language that is going to meet them where they are. Not to mention that attracting your ideal couples in the first place should begin by making sure you are addressing what they need from you as a wedding vendor or out of their wedding experience as a whole, and how can you do that if you don’t clearly understand why your couples are choosing to do a small wedding in the first place.
Understanding what couples want out of their small wedding experience will help you create the right type of service offering they are looking for, it will give you insight into how to price your services to sell - it also informs your sales materials and the language and copy you use on your website and in your social media - not to mention it is a key tool in being able to clearly communicate with your couples during the sales process and throughout their time and experience with your business. When you know what your couples value and you understand the experience they are seeking from their wedding day and leading up to their day; you can meet and exceed those expectations for them and provide the perfect service for your ideal couples.
So, lets dive into the top 5 reasons that I have heard from hundreds of couples on why a small wedding was the best fit for their big day;
The #1 reason is budget; As I like to say; weddings aren’t ever going to get any less expensive and as we are currently experiencing rising inflation that rings very true. The best way to think about wedding budgets are a per person cost because while there are certainly flat fees, the majority of what you spend money on at your wedding are based on how many guests you are having. Not to mention that weddings deal in labor costs, services from small businesses and with perishables like food and flowers - all of these costs typically go up year after year regardless of our economy. Which means that now many couples are realizing that in order to have the weddings they envisioned they need a smaller guest count. Or if a couples finances change and they decide they would rather save money on their day and spend less than they originally intended, the best way to do that is to cut their guest count or to have a simpler wedding experience. Small weddings, micro weddings and elopements are a great fit for couples who want to spend less not only because of their guest count, but because they don’t come with all of the expectations of a traditional wedding and so there are things that can be cut back on or done differently that would end up costing a couple less. Ultimately small weddings are always going to make sense for couples who either want to do more with their budgets or who want to save money on their day.
Our second reason is stress and a story I have heard again and again are couples who call to tell me that they were planning their big weddings at home and it got so stressful that they just decided to elope and have a smaller and simpler wedding. It makes sense. Planning an event for 100 to 200 + guests takes a lot of time and it is actually quite a lot of work (which as a wedding planner I can certainly confirm), and for these newly engaged couples all of this planning is probably coming with a steep learning curve because most couples will be brand new to planning a wedding. Along with the work and time required are also generally going to be all the family stressors about things like guest lists, opinions on what the couple should or shouldn’t be doing for their wedding. Oh, and let’s not forget the inevitable ballooning budget where things cost more than you expected and all of a sudden you have to make a lot of hard decisions about what you want to spend money on - and when you add to that couples who may already have stressful jobs or are short on time and don’t have hours and hours to spend planning - you have the perfect firestorm of a super stressful wedding planning experience and a couple who would be grateful to scrap all of their plans and do something small, quick and easy. Generally small weddings and elopements require less lead time for couples and are far more straight forward to plan, which is valuable to many couples who don’t want any additional stress in their lives.
The 3rd reason couples choose to elope is; generational - many couples in this new generation, and even the last, don’t feel the same need to have the large wedding their parents did and want to get married instead on their own terms. This means deconstructing what a wedding day typically would look like and creating their own vision. First and foremost it is the guest list expectations of inviting everyone they know as well as all family members no matter how close they are or when they saw them last. Many couples are wanting a more personal and intimate experience and no longer feel like they should be expected to extend an invite to anyone. Along with guest list expectations, couples are questioning the necessary investment of a wedding and instead want to invest in what holds value for them, so rather than spending $30K and up on a wedding, they are wanting to invest in the down-payment of a house or a dream vacation or starting a business or something else more important to them. They just don’t see the same value, or necessity, in having a traditional wedding and for many couples a smaller wedding offers them the freedom and flexibility to have the wedding day they want.
The 4th reason couples choose to have smaller weddings is actually much more common than one would probably think and one that I have touched on a bit in some of other reasons and that is family. Family is traditionally a huge part of a couples wedding day and depending on their relationship with their family that may be the very reason why having something smaller would be ideal. Many couples simply don’t have great relationships with all members of their family and having a big wedding would only exacerbate or highlight that issue, so choosing to have a smaller wedding or to elope is the perfect way to avoid a less than ideal situation on a day that should be a celebration. Or on the flip side, family may be the most important thing to a couple and for a variety of reasons a smaller wedding would be a better option to include family. Or family can even play a big part by being absent, I know quite a few couples who have chosen to have smaller weddings because one or both of their parents had passed away and they just didn’t feel like a big wedding really fit anymore. For better or worse, family is complicated and planning a wedding is often the catalyst for couples wanting an alternative to a traditional wedding or to just simply run away and elope.
And finally, the 5th most common reason couples choose to elope is experience. As couples are redefining what a wedding is and asking themselves what is important, many are deciding that it is the wedding experience itself and that instead of just having one big celebration, they would prefer to create a memorable experience that aligns with who they are. These couples would rather hike to the top of a mountain alone to say I do or they want to get their 25 closest friends and family together and rent a house for a week at an amazing destination where they have multiple events or they want to take a once-in-a-lifetime helicopter ride to a waterfall to say their vows. It is the experience of the wedding that matters to many couples and of course small weddings and elopements are much better suited to non-traditional weddings and pricey once-in-a-lifetime experiences - because you have the flexibility of a small guest count and the budget freedom. The desire for an amazing wedding experience also ties nicely into the rise of destination weddings in general because it is much easier to create either a multi-day or over the top experience for you and your wedding guests when you get to vacation and travel with everyone and not just attend an event and go home that night.
So to re-cap the top 5 reasons couples choose to elope is budget, stress, generational, family and experience. Many of these reasons are multi-faceted so it is easy to see why they pertain to so many couples. As a wedding vendor, it is important to know why your couples want to do a smaller wedding so you can speak directly to their problems and you can create services that can meet them where they are. If you know that your couples want a stress-free wedding experience, you can create a pre-wedding workflow that is streamlined and easy. If you know you have couples who have budget concerns then you can price accordingly or show value in a way that appeals to them. If you want to attract couples who are looking for a wedding experience you can create a service offering or package that caters to couples looking for that WOW factor on their day. And now that you know why many of your ideal couples are looking to elope, you can make sure that you are speaking to the things that are most important to them and creating service offerings in your business that are irresistible.
What do you think? Did I miss something that you hear all the time? I would love to know! Head on over to my instagram @morganmchilds where we can chat. I respond to all of my messages and am currently having some juicy conversations with wedding pros over in my DM’s so join us!
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